Tuesday, April 30, 2013

17 Weeks 3 Days

I have reached 17 weeks! I feel like this pregnancy is going by so fast. I went to the doctor on Friday and we finally got to schedule when we find out what we are having! Only 3 more weeks of waiting.


I hate our Laramie maternity system. Let me just tell you about it so you can understand why it sucks so bad. They have 5 different doctors here and when I went for my first appointment they made me sign a paper that says I will see all 5 doctors before I get to choose who I see for the rest of my pregnancy. Well that is not the problem. I don't mind seeing all the doctors but the thing is, even if you choose what doctor you see there is no guarantee that they will be the one to deliver your baby. The doctor that is on call the day you deliver is the one who delivers your baby and it may not be the doctor you want. How stupid is that! The other thing that bothers me is that the doctors don't communicate with each other so at every appointment you have to reexplain anything that they need to know. They also don't get to know you so you pretty much have a stranger touching and prodding at you for every appointment. I just don't like it and wish I could choose my doctor but I don't have a choice so it will be a mystery who delivers my baby until that day comes. 

Monday, April 22, 2013

99.9%


This morning as I was laying in bed taking a "mental health" day and Pinteresting I felt it! This time I am 99.9% sure that I felt my baby move. For the past couple weeks I think I have been feeling little flutters but this time it was a flutter on steroids and not just one but 6 or 7. It was the coolest thing ever! Everyday I am more and more excited about being pregnant. Next up, find out what we are having! 

Oh and here is the 16 week photo I promised. 



Sunday, April 21, 2013

It's Not Always Easy

I have been feeling like I need to share our story about not being able to get pregnant right away. Now that I am pregnant I feel so open about our journey and what I was feeling as the years went by with no child. I mainly feel the need to share because I have many friends that are going through the same thing and friends that have gone through this as well. It's not easy for everyone to get pregnant. It doesn't happen the month you get off the pill for everyone. So I am going to share my story, hopefully to inspire those who are struggling with what I struggled with.

In October of 2011, Ryan and I decided that it was time to start trying for a family. I was worried from the beginning because I never had regular periods and was worried that I may not be able to get pregnant on my own. This was my secret demon that taunted me as the months went by. After I stopped taking my birth control I didn't have a period on my own for almost a year. That was scary to me. To think something is wrong with you and that your body isn't working the way it was meant to work. We finally had a doctor who told us that it was unhealthy to go so long without having a period so she gave me a months worth of birth control to make me have a period. After I had that "induced" period I had a couple on my own, not regular still but on my own which was progress. 

During this time of waiting and trying I never talked about what I was feeling or thinking about. Ryan didn't even know how hard this was on me until after we found out I was pregnant. I just didn't want to worry him or make him feel bad about the things that were bothering me. I knew early on that I wanted to be a mother and I even tried to convince Ryan to start trying as soon as we got married. He wanted to get through school and wanted me to get through school too so we agreed to wait. Which I am grateful for now because I know  that now the time is right for us. Anyway, as the months went on and still no baby I started to really get depressed and down about it. I couldn't understand why it was so easy for some mothers to get pregnant and why it was hard for me. I couldn't understand why my body didn't work the way it was supposed to and that made me angry. I took a couple pregnancy tests during this time and all came back negative. Again, I didn't tell Ryan when I took a test because I didn't want it to get him down either. I could also tell as the we hit the one year mark of  "trying" he was getting really baby hungry. I felt like I was disappointing him by not being able to give him a child. I mostly just felt sorry for myself. 

There was one night that I couldn't sleep so I went out and sat on the couch. A thought came into my mind that I hadn't read my Patriarchal Blessing in a long time, so long that I couldn't remember what it said. So I dug around in Ryan's office until I found it. I was shocked when I read it because it promised me that when the time was right and when I was ready I would become a mother. From that moment on I knew that I couldn't dwell in my sorrow and I couldn't focus on what I couldn't have anymore but rather what I could do. So from then on instead of praying every night for Heavenly Father to give me a baby I prayed for opportunities to serve. I promised that if the opportunities were presented to me then I would take them and serve and forget about myself and only focus on others. Not too long after I got my calling in the church. My calling is to make baby blankets and take them to the new mothers in the ward. It is such a rewarding calling and I get to hold all the cute newborn babies. It wasn't until I lost myself in service that it happened.

According to the doctor I conceived on or around January 12, 2013 (which puts us at a year and close to 3 months trying for a baby). At the being of February I started to feel weird. I was so tired the most tired I have ever felt in my life, I felt nauseous and my breast got twice the size and hurt like crazy. I kept telling Ryan how crappy I felt and he would tell me to take a pregnancy test. I couldn't bring myself to take another test. I just couldn't bare the disappointment. I was in denial for weeks before I finally told myself that if I didn't feel better in another week then I would take a test. The day came (a couple days after Valentines Day) that I decided to take the test. I waited until Ryan had left for work and I was home alone. I told myself before hand that I would take it and wouldn't look at it until the 3 minutes were up. I took the test and set it on the counter. I didn't even get the chance to look away, the two pink lines appeared immediately! I couldn't believe it. All that I have ever wanted and waited for was finally happening. I was glad that I was alone because I crumpled up on the bathroom floor sobbing and laughing at the same time. I'm sure if Ryan had been there I would have just completely embarrassed myself. I remember I just kept saying was thank you over and over again. It was the happiest moment of my life. 

I then had to hurry and get ready for class and then head to work. I came home for lunch and was hoping that Ryan wouldn't be home because I knew I would spill the beans and I wanted to wait until that night to tell him. Well, he was home and I spilled the beans. I couldn't contain myself. Ryan being Ryan started to tell me what I had to stop doing like drinking Mountain Dew and instructed me to take a prenatal right away. He is so good about making me do what I need to for a healthy baby and pregnancy. But I could tell he was happy and freaking out but happy. 

Because I had waited so long and this being my first pregnancy I worried everyday about miscarriage and things going wrong. I couldn't wait to get past the 13 week mark. I still worry at times but once I start to worry I am filled with a peaceful feeling and I know that this is our time and that we have been given one of the greatest blessings. I am so grateful everyday to be given this chance to bring a child into this world. I know that everything will be ok in the end and I am so excited for every that comes with being pregnant. 

That is my story. It's hard to wait for so long but when it finally happens it is worth the wait. My advice to anyone going through the same thing is to stay positive, serve and talk about it. I feel like it would have been easier on me if I just talked to someone about it. Also, trust in Heavenly Father. He has a plan for each of us and knows when the right time for certain things are. So have faith and know that it will happen when it is meant to happen. Even if it means waiting for months or years. It will happen. 

16 Weeks

I don't have a picture for this week yet because I haven't look cute enough! But I will post one later this week. I do have some complaining to do though! Even though I am trying to love everything about being pregnant I have been so uncomfortable this week which makes it hard to love being pregnant. Starting last week I have been having back pain. Mainly when I lay down to go to bed. Who gets back pains when they  lay down? I just thought that was weird but the body pillow my friend gave me has been helping. The other thing that started maybe 3 days ago is my belly hurts! I mean it feels like someone is pulling and stretching my belly out. It is so uncomfortable and again I feel it most when I go to bed. I guess that feeling is just the baby growing and making room for himself but still could you be a little gentler please! But really, even though things have been uncomfortable I feel so blessed to be pregnant and to be able to have my very own baby. I also think I might be starting to feel baby move. I am so unsure though but hopefully the next couple weeks I will really be able to tell when it is the baby and not just gas. Some things I am looking forward to this week is my doctors appointment on Friday. I love being able to hear the heartbeat because it makes it so real for me. Then our next appointment we will be finding out what we are having! I am so excited. I will be 21 weeks then so I am going to try and convince the doctor to let me come in early so I don't have to wait another 4 weeks! We will see. 

P.S. I am still hoping for a boy.. What's your guess? 

Friday, April 12, 2013

15 Weeks

Just thought I should start posting belly pics so we can all see baby grow! I'm so excited to be showing because now I really feel pregnant. Here's to being 15 weeks! 



Thursday, April 4, 2013

Baby Murphy


INTRODUCING BABY MURPHY


I feel it is probably about time I posted about our tiny nugget! Here "he" is! For my own records I want to keep a little pregnancy blog so for the next couple months this blog will be all about me and baby! And maybe a tiny bit about Ryan..

It's kind of ironic that the last post I posted was me finally expressing my feelings about not being able to get pregnant. Turns out, I was pregnant when I wrote that post! Crazy how things work out. Ryan and I really feel blessed and can't wait to become parents and we are so grateful to be given the chance.  As for me, I am enjoying every minute of pregnancy including the not so fun parts.

13 WEEKS

As of today I am 13 weeks but will be 14 weeks on Saturday. Here are some highlights and low-lights about being pregnant so far.

  • This week has been the best so far because I don't feel sick anymore! The first couple  months I was really sick and it wasn't fun so I am so happy to finally be past that. (Hopefully I am not jinksing myself...) 
  • I am loving my "ladies" right now! That was the first sign that made me think I was pregnant because they got huge! And I am loving it.
  • I  have never ever had a problem with acne growing up, just the occasional zit here and there. But this morning I woke up with the ring of fire going from one ear, across my forehead and to the other ear! How did this even happen? Besides the fact that I have had to feel crappy for months, I'm getting fat and I'm uncomfortable, I also have to deal with looking like a sad little middle school girl in her awkward years. At least this ring of fire is close to my hairline so I can hide it easily. 
  • I am worried I am going to have a lop sided belly! Even early on when I lay down I can feel my tiny hard bump low on my belly and it has always been completely on the left side and squishy on the right. I guess this kid just likes to hang out over there. And as I have gotten bigger it is still the same, baby on the left side of my belly. Hopefully he will run out of room and move over so I don't look like a scary middle school awkward lop sided prego lady! 
  • I ordered some belly bands this week because my jeans are too tight. The first thing when I get to class and sit down is unbutton my jeans because it is so uncomfortable. So I can't wait to get these bands so I can wear unbuttoned pants all day.
  • Ryan and I refer to this baby as "he." I am hoping for a boy and I think Ryan is too so we just call baby a he. Sorry if your a girl baby.. we will still be happy either way! 
  • We are so excited to welcome our baby in October! Keep checking in for some more updates about me and this pregnancy!